Saturday, April 22

Leading by Example


Upon my return from the east a couple of days ago, I implored those readers of a pretentious bent to rid themselves of any poncy garments they might have procured over the years in an effort to be 'cool'. 'Cool' by the way is my least favourite word in the English language. I despise it. For me, it's up there with the mwah-mwah kiss on either cheek nonsense, which of course isn't a word. That's just an unecessary sickly action.

Anyway, one reader, a Mr Dennis Fortescue of Battersea, South London, has decided to send in his white belt, writing:

Dear Disappointed,

Your blog the other day forced me to take a long hard look at myself. I realised that I was one of these cunts [See 'Back']you speak of. My girlfriend is seven months pregnant [the child is not mine but I shall stand by her and the bastard] and I thought, "Isn't it about time I stopped being a fashion victim? Where has it got me?" It is with this realisation that I hereby send you my white belt, which makes one look awfully gay, though I'm not gay at all, and haven't been since a brief attraction to Paul Davies in 4TU.

Kind regards,

Dennis Fortescue


It takes a big man to admit he has been wrong Dennis, and you are to be applauded for your actions. I hope others will be inspired by the route you have taken. Might I just take this opportunity to add that there is no way on this earth that I would ever bring up another man's child.

Now I don't want you all sending me your pretentious garments, so what I have done is set up a series of pretentious amnesty drop off points where you can go and bin those tan-coloured shoes you thought looked good with your French Connection jeans, or that cropped top that shows off that tattoo just above your crack.

Together we can make the world pretentious free. Together we can do it.

© Disappointed of West Egg 2006. Do not reproduce without permission.

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